This post idea came from a recent conversation with long time friends : )
I think it's safe to say we all hope our friends will tell us when there is something in our teeth, our mascara is smudging or that there is toilet paper stuck to the bottom of our shoe. But what if the issue had to do with hygiene?? Perhaps being unkempt, body odor etc. Would you tell the person? If yes, how would you say it? Is this area taboo and off limits? Does it depend on the level of friendship? Share your thoughts!!
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6 comments:
Well, CC4us, what did your group of friends conclude? This is a good question!
I think the level of friendship as well as the particular issue are deciding factors, and I would only say something if I was able to offer a possible help/solution. I definitely am quick to offer information related to skin and/or haircare b/c I have some professional knowledge & experience in those.(and samples!)If my friend brought up the subject, i.e. "I wish I could find something that worked for my_______" (split ends, rosacea, peeling nails)I would pipe right up. I would probably not bring up the subject myself unless I was alarmed by a marked sudden change in her seeming to no longer care about her health, hygiene, and/or appearance, b/c these can be signs of a bigger issue that she might need help with and not even realize. I guess I would follow the good old "do unto others" policy, and if I'd want to be told something by this person if the situation were reversed, then I'd risk speaking up.
I think it can be a difficult line to walk sometimes b/c many of us like to "share" everything we know & sometimes this may be taken as controlling (or my way is better or the only way). I think a lot depends on delivery (& timing).
Did anyone read about the "extreme breastfeeders" -- would you say anything if your friend was still breastfeeding her 4+ year old? thoughts?
It's a sensitive area. I think it depends on your relationship with that person and the topics you've discussed in the past. I agree, timing and delivery matter too. If an opportunity presented itself and it was a "safe environment" I would consider bringing it up in a "backdoor" kind of way...maybe use a personal experience.
I would pass on saying anything about the extreme breastfeeding, b/c that's probably a conscious decision, rather than a situation that someone is unaware of (like halitosis) or at a loss for ideas to change (like grooming/appearance). If someone's already made her mind up, why comment?
I heard of a web site some years ago called subtlehints.com. I don't even know if it still exists, but I think the premise can be applied here. ie. if you have a friend with a breath problem, anonymously send them a package with a new toothbrush, toothpaste and some Altoids as well as a kindly worded note saying something like, someone who cares about you very much requested that you receive a "subtle hint".
There are so many variables to consider when approaching a topic like this, if it were a close friend, I might just mention it to her privately. We also have to consider how this person might react, could it possible ruin the friendship.
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